marriage


Infidelity and who’s to blame?

I thought Big Poppa and I could enjoy a quiet moment at the dinner table last night and argue this one (again).  When someone cheats, he believes the person in a committed relationship, and the person they’re cheating with, are both at fault.  My position has always been that the cheater is solely to blame.  If a married man woos a single woman, the fault lies solely with Mr. Married.  He is the one breaking his vows.  And, call me experienced, but married men don’t usually lead off with, “Hi, I’m married with two kids.  My wife isn’t doing it for me, or with me, anymore, and  I can’t remember the last time I got a blow job.  Interested?”

Like I told Big Poppa, I’m not discriminating, either.  If a woman cheats on her husband, the blame is hers alone.  Man or woman, a cheater is a cheater, and needs to take responsibly, even if their spouse is ready to blame ‘the other woman’ or ‘the other man’ in an effort to abscond blame from their spouse, wrap their mind around the unimaginable, and move on while staying married.

So, then Big Poppa says, “I can see what you’re saying, but  let’s say you went out with a bunch of girlfriends, and you were hanging out with some good-looking guy, and he got a little too friendly.  Let’s say you drank too much and things happened…’

So, then I say, “Are you saying it’s okay to cheat on you if I get drunk?  Lord have mercy, why did you wait seventeen years to tell me?”

*For the record, that’s NOT what Big Poppa was saying.  He cleared that up pretty quickly, once we both stopped laughing.  

Big Poppa and I had a conversation this afternoon that ended with me saying, “I don’t think you need a hep-B vaccine unless you’re going to have sex with strangers, or share a razor or a toothbrush.”  Then he called to have arrangements made for his appointment.  That’s Hollywood for you.  You call someone who calls someone to make your appointment, then the first someone calls you back to tell you when and where to go.  To tell you the truth, I think I’d be a really great travel coordinator.  Big Poppa already calls me ‘Julie McCoy, Cruise Director’ and I love telling people where to go.

So, off he went to the vaccine clinic. Honestly, I bet it’s the sharing a toothbrush thing that really made him want to get stuck in the arm.  I think he’s always wanted the kind of girl that doesn’t mind sharing her toothbrush.  I’d rather die.  I told Big Poppa that  he should check in with our world traveling friend and get his opinion on which vaccinations to get.  Mr. World Traveler messaged back saying, ‘Stay out of the whorehouses and you’ll be fine.’  Personally, I think that’s good advice whether you’re traveling or staying close to home.  Mr. World Traveler is a smart guy.  His words stuck with me, and I was thinking they’d make a great proverb.   We have a sign hanging over the kitchen doorway that says, Never Trust a Skinny Cook.  Wouldn’t it be funny to have one hanging over the bedroom door that says, Stay Out of Whorehouses and You’ll be Fine.  Too bad my birthday just passed.  There’s always Christmas.

It’s way past bedtime, but we went to a screening of Savages tonight, and I don’t think I’ll be falling asleep anytime soon.  AMAZING movie.  Loads of violence.  Big Poppa’s in the living room packing his gear.  Think I should hand him some extra toothbrushes and razors?